Why Our Relations Are Falling Apart?

I have a keen sense when it comes to couples, a very strong observation for every couple who was near me. It does not matter whether I know them or not. They are sitting in a fancy restaurant, standing on roadside, riding on a bike or gossiping while eating some street food. There are many couples around us. in our families too. I used to observe how they see each other. they treat each other. how they care for each other. small things just like that.

When someone is in love, it’s all in the air. You just want to see the good qualities of the man you are falling for. In other words, he or she is the most beautiful, perfect, caring, and loving person you know on this planet. meanwhile. honest and loyal one too. please consider these adjectives at the top most.

However, with time, things came back to normal routine. Yes, you love each other but now you are busy with your routine and daily chores. You have a work to do. a life to live. The person for whom you are available 24/7 and express your feelings every time. You don’t hesitate to love them and express your love for them. But with time, the ego starts eating your love and at end your ego became a giant Infront of your love. You don’t want to express yourself that much, something hinders. You are getting irritated by the same lovey dovey talks your partner wants to do. You may think that the person who is expressively sharing his feeling is not creative, productive or don’t have any sort of work to deal with. You are the only person who is actually busy with all sort of work in the world.

In initial days of falling in love, you are above the sky and at the end you are not even on the ground you are shattered, broken, and very much below the ground. The person whom you admire for all the love and good qualities is just a bundle of all the evil in the world whom you don’t want to live with or even can’t breathe in his presence.

Don’t you think that is a very common scenario? Every second couple around me is in fantasy of something they don’t have. They all are very lovey dove but with time they got the idea that their spouses are not of their match and the one with their friend or relative is the ideal. The process of idealization of the couple near us is very much normal. Another thing I notice and is very irritating or shocking for me is that now-a-days couples don’t accept or respect privacy of each other. When you are sitting inside a circle of your peers, friends, or it is a family gathering, any time a person cracks a joke. a lame joke about his or her partner. they are mostly jokes about married person or life. like how beautiful their life was when they were single and now how trapped they feel. Why? Don’t we have some better sense of humor? Why we don’t respect the privacy of the other person? In case of females, they are getting a breadwinner who is providing them with everything they should be grateful for! In case of males, they are getting a beautiful family, children, a wife who is making their house a home. It’s a mutual bond not just based on love but on respect too.

But when we start our journeys, we prioritize love over everything but with time, our instincts demand privacy, space, respect, and praise may be. Small gestures of love and compassion. A smile when we see one another. A candle light dinner once a while. A cozy evening to listen each other. Every time, it’s not about how you feel, sometimes, there is need to understand how other one feels and what he/she expects from this relation or bond.

The deteriorating concepts of a happy and healthy relationships, marriages as they are falling apart. I have seen many couples who smile at each other in public and they are alien to each other for the rest of their life. They are just machines who are living their lives with no emotions. They are together for the sake of their children or their family or for their reputation in society.

I guess we are in dire need to understand the need to prioritize things. Next time, when you are falling for someone, judge how he/she understands not only you but others too, how he respects, care, talk and at the end love. Love is not everything. It will happen again and again and again. There are very rare cases of you being ROMEO and Juliet, Her Ranjha, or Sassi panno, and believe me my dear you are not in that much love. If you want to remain in love, want to sustain your relationship, you have to take steps slowly. Don’t be haphazard with things, enjoy the process, take some time to understand each other. No one is perfect but with love, respect and understanding you can develop a perfect bond. That is something, actually matters! 

Grounds on Which a Female Can Apply for Divorce in Muslim Law

Grounds on Which a Female Can Apply for Divorce in Muslim Law

Divorce itself is the most hated but permitted thing to Allah almighty. Allah has created man and women in pairs. The simple way to end the bond is to get divorce. However, females are often confused on which grounds they can easily get divorce and get rid of any abusive, and toxic relationship. This Article may help you in resolving some of your questions related to Khula or Divorce as well.

There are following grounds on which a woman who is married under Muslim law can get divorce ( Apply for dissolution of marriage through court).

  • 1: Missing Husband:


When the husband is missing for more than 4 years and the wife or any of his or her relatives don’t know the whereabouts of the husband. In such case, a wife can apply for dissolution of the marriage through court and get a decree of Divorce. The notice for the suit will be served on the heirs of the husband with their names and addresses mentioned in such cases. The paternal uncle, father, brothers of the husband can be a party to such suits even if they are not heirs to husband. However, in all such cases there is some exception under Section 2 (ix)(a) that if a women get a decree through this way, the decree passed on such grounds shall not take effect for a period of 6 months. In these 6 months, if husband or any of his relatives or agent came and claim that he is not missing or absent anymore, and satisfied the court that he is willing to perform his conjugal rights, no such decree will be effective.

  • 2: Maintenance Issues:

Under Sec 2 (ii), a wife can apply for the decree to dissolve her marriage on the grounds of failed maintenance. To provide maintenance to his wife and family is the basic duty of the husband and a right to wife. However, if a husband failed to provide such maintenance for  a period of 2 years, female can apply for the dissolution of marriage on such grounds.

  • 3: Additional Wife:

In case, a husband without the permission of the arbitration council under Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961 (SEC 6) has taken an additional wife, the first or all wives (If more than one) can apply for the dissolution of marriage on such ground. Sec 2 (ii-A) Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939

  • 4: Imprisoned Husband:

In case, husband is sentenced to imprisonment for seven years or more than seven years, the wife of such husband can apply for the dissolution of marriage under law.

  • 5: Failed to Perform Marital Obligations:

If a husband neglected or failed to perform his marital obligations without any reasonable cause for a period of 3 years, the wife of such husband can apply for the decree of dissolution of marriage under The Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939.

  • 6: Impotent Husband:

In case, husband is impotent at the time of the marriage or became impotent after sometime and continues to be, wife can apply for dissolution of marriage under such ground. However, if the husband applies in the court, and the court on such application by husband shall give him a period of 1 year, under such period if the husband satisfies the court that he is medically fit and ceased to be impotent, no decree shall be passed on such ground.

  • 7: Mental Issues:

If a husband is suffering from leprosy, or any other venereal disease or remain insane for a period of 2 or more years, his wife can apply for the dissolution of marriage on such ground.

  • 8: Forceful and Underage Marriage:

In case, a female has been given to marriage by his father or guardian before she attained the age of 16 years, she is entitled to apply for dissolution of marriage on the said ground before reaching to the age of 18 years. However, if the marriage is consummated no such ground, is application. Therefore, the Consumption of marriage is a term to this ground.

  • 9: Cruel Husband:

If a husband treats his wife with cruelty and makes her life miserable, habitually assaults her, abuse her verbally or physically, the wife of such man is entitled to apply for the decree for dissolution of marriage under the said law. However, to be clearer, the physical ill treatment is not a compulsion under such ground, she can apply for the said ground in case of mental abuse too.

  • 10: Extra Marital Affairs with Evil Reputed Females:

If a husband is associated with any women other than his wife, and the women the of evil repute and spending an immoral life, the wife can apply for the dissolution of marriage under section 2(viii)(b) of the Dissolution of the Muslim Marriages Act 1939.

  • 11: More than 1 wife:

In case, if husband is married to more than on females and do not treat them equally according to the injunctions of Islam, the wife or wives of such husband can apply for the dissolution of such marriage under Muslim Law on said ground.

  • 12: Other Grounds:

If a husband disposes of his wife her property or prevents her from exercising her legal rights on such property, she can apply for dissolution of marriage under such ground.

Further, in case if a husband stops his wife from performing her religious duties or rituals, attempts to force her lead an immoral life, or any other ground which is recognized, the wife of such husband is entitled for the dissolution of the marriage under said grounds.

  • If Female Convert to another faith, the marriage will be resolved on its own?

No, such marriage will not be resolved on its own. If the wife embraces any other faith than Islam, then such renunciation of Islam by Muslim married women does not itself operate to dissolve her marriage under Sec 4 of the Dissolution of the Muslim Marriages Act 1939. However, such renunciation is the ground on which she can apply for the decree of dissolution of marriage. Moreover, there is another exception to this section which is if the women embraced Islam from some other faith and then renounce it and converted to her former faith, then, this provision shall not be applicable to such women.

In all above-mentioned grounds, the right to dower ( HAQ- MEHAR) will not be effected for such women under this act.

First day: (2nd episode)

He looked at her as she opened the door. He was stunned for a moment but controlled himself in the very next moment.

” May I come in?” she asked for permission from the board of directors while completely ignoring him.

“Yes, miss. Please have a seat.” one of the 5 persons in the room permits him.

She was confident, beautiful, and impressive in her personality. He thought for a while about her 5 years back personality. How can a person changed so much? he thought. She was answering all the questions confidently and intellectually. When he came to his senses, she was about to leave the room.

” What an intellectual lady. She deserved the job”, they said.

………………………………………

“Sophie, when will you get enough common sense to resolve your issue on your own? Look at yourself; What a pathetic personality you’ve.” His words were regurgitating in his mind with full force. 

How can she become so charming, intellectual, and gorgeous all of a sudden? 

It was quite tough for him to digest. Curiosity was increasing as the previous events open the memoir of the past. 

(Continue…….)  

First day

She owns a beautiful smile, bright shiny eyes, and innocent but confident looks. The hallway was quite big and not full with so many people. Life put her in rough circumstances. However, she knows how to handle things. But this time, something was not as usual as the previous ones. She was more confident, competent, and admired than ever.
She enters the hallway and be seated on an empty seat near her.
“Who is Sophie?” , a lady calls her name.
“It’s me. “she told her. She stands up with confidence and opens the door of the room.
He was there behind the table with his intellectual eyes and inspiring face.
(Continue….)

For My Country Pakistan

MAIN PAKISTAN HUN

 

Main Khud me Pakistan hun

Bazurgon ka farman hun

KASHMIR ka armaan hun

Main Shuja’at-e-BURHAAN hun

Haan! Main hi to Pakistan hun

Quaid ka paigham hun

IQBAL ka main khawaab hun

ARFA ki ooran hun

Azmat-o-jurat ka nishaan hun

Main to PAKISTAN hun

Shaheen-e-IQBAL hun

main bulandiye parwaz hun

Sabar ka main inaam hun

Har dil ka main armaan hun

Me to PAKISTAN hun

Dehqaano ka chaman hun

Shaheedon ka watan hun

Main khud me lal-e-yaman hun

Haan! Main hi PAKISTAN hun

Main aik gul-e-bahar hun

Ulfat by shumaar hun

Umeedo sy sir shaar hun

Nasloon ka mu’maar hun

Aik Dastaan Lazaawaal hun

Haan! Main to me PAKISTAN hun

Rabiya butt

 

Eid Mubarik..

Eid mubarik to all muslims in the world.. ❤

May Almighty Lord bless all of us with divine bliss.May Allah Almighty bless us with health,wealth,success,prosperity,happiness,love,care,joys,smiles,respect and every thing which we desire in a very long life full with the divine blessings..ameen.

Rabiya Rizwan Butt ❤

Ramazan Mubarik

There is no doubt all months have their own importance and significance but as the name of RAMAZAN  come to my mind , a very  peaceful and charming picture of life appear at the screen of mind. Ramadan-ul-mubarik is the most holy month of the Islamic calendar. This month has its own importance  and blessings. It’s very dear to every Muslim in the world .

Ramadan is that month when the Holy book of Muslims ‘’QURAN’’  revolutionized on the Holy Prophet (salalaho alaihi wasalam).It’s that month when Muslims can get the Divine blessings .Muslims do fasting for  the whole of the month as before the sun rise they do  ‘’SEHRI’’ a type of breakfast  and then  do ‘’AFTARI’’ after sun set with the call of prayer MAGHRIB .They remain hungry and thirsty all the day for the willingness of Allah Almighty.

Before the promulgation of Islam, Fast was a part of many religions. Jews do fasting , Christians do fasting before Ester ,Hindus do fasting as they call it ‘’WARAT’’. There are some facts about fasting for a month as:

  • First of all, it’s a way to know the miseries, hardships of those poor and needy people who are present in our surroundings but we never ever have any kind of concern about them in our daily routine life.
  • Secondly, It’s a way to go near to them and know them more closely more deeply. There are some persons who don’t have enough food to make both ends meal .It’s a very good chance to observe their pains and sufferings.
  • Thirdly, It’s a way to enhance one’s patience .one have to tolerate things which one’s don’t like or want in one’s life.
  • It’s not only a name to restrain your-self from eating or drinking anything. As Almighty Lord don’t want our hunger or thirst. He observe our love, patience and obediency for His orders.
  • During fasting, one restrain one’s self from doing all those things which Allah Almighty don’t like .One consider many ‘’HALAL ‘’ things on one’s self as HARAM for the sake of Allah during fast.
  • It’s a good chance to produce humbleness and sovereignty .Its a chance to awake the slept humanity in our selves.
  • You have a pocket book full of money ,even if you are a millionaire ,you are not allowed to eat anything during fast or you can’t do anything which hurts some-one.You have to bear things and produce tolerance in your-self just for the sake of you Lord.
  • It’s a kind of Jahad (war) between you and your heart.It’s an exam of your firm determination and strong faith on Allah Almighty.

You are alone and no one is present around you to see your acts but even then you have to control your-self thinking that Allah is always present with you.You’re not fasting to show the world but you are keeping your fast to agree your God ,to attain His blessings and willings.

We are present on dining table before ten-fifteen minutes about AFTAAR ,your tongue ,lips and throat is dry completely as you want just one drop of water which is present in front of you but you are not willing to touch anything .you don’t want to do corruption with your fast even for only for a minute ,you just wait for the sound ALLAHO AKBAR with patience and at that moment you realize the value of those countless blessings which you never ever care for.Isn’t it?

It’s not only a month of patience and tolerance but also a month of love, care, blessings and to feel the sufferings of others. It’s a month of humanity. It’s not only a month but also a chance to realize the things and sufferings which we can’t realize with our filled bellies.It’s a month to spread happiness and smiles on other’s face when you do charity (I’ll write about ZAKAT soon)

It’s not wrong to say that faith and humanity is not completely vanish from the world . Just a question arise in my mind  why all the months are not Ramadan ???? What do you think about that???

Ramazan mubaril to all of you.May Allah bless all of us with His divine blessings and give us a chance to be thankful to Him… ameen..

 

Rabiya Rizwan Butt ❤

 

 

 

More humans less humanity

Last Saturday, I was in my college van and struck in the heavy traffic. That was my exam week and I was in hurry to reach at home and do preparations for my next exam that was of Botany and a lot of stuff was there to study. I was thinking a lot of things at the same time as I was planning my time table according to the syllabus. My eyes were moving restlessly here and there but there was something outside the window, something that filled my heart with pain and my eyes with tears. I could not keep control on myself and left the van with great hurry and reached at the spot.

You may think that what was outside that shocked me. When I was seeing outside, I have a glance at two children. Boy and a small girl with him. That boy was about four feet in height and mal-nutritious in appearance as I can count his ribs bones at a distance without any difficulty because he was shirtless and in a small shorts. His feet were shoeless and filthy with dirt.

He was searching something in the dustbin. You can see many children of six-sixteen years with a garbage bag on their back at roads and in streets of our cities and towns. These bags are heavier and large than their own-selves. As I was thinking that small boy was also searching some plastic bags or other stuff in that garbage but I was stunned at the sight.

I’m almost speechless to describe that scene in words. I may capture that scene but I was certainly helpless to capture that pain.

That boy put his hands in the filthy dustbin and when he put them out, there were some rotted bananas in his hands .He gave that completely spoiled bananas to the girl and said her to eat them. I left my van and reached to him in no time. I asked him that why were he giving that rotten bananas to that girl?

He told me that she was hungry and he was her brother. I was shocked, it was all beyond my tolerance. My eyes teemed-up with tears. I said him not to eat that rotten bananas. I saw a hawker selling fresh bananas there. As I moved towards that vendor to buy few bananas for that siblings but when I saw back at the road there was nobody at the road. A great hustle and bustle of traffic and humans were there but they were lost in the crowd.

I was feeling at that time as I’m living in a world which have billions of human beings but lost humanity. The matter of thought is that the future of the nation have not much importance than that dustbin.

Are not we standing on the verge of chaos once again?

Are we forget about the anger of Almighty Lord on past nations?

Are we still able to call civilized human beings?

And how many flowers  will ruin in this cruel world?

It’s a time to thought about that we are moving towards destruction gradually.

Rabiya Butt..