An year ago,I always thought ,”Why it’s me?
Why all the troubles and hurdles are only for me??
Why Almighty Allah wants to see me suffered by all these troubles?
I always thought that I’m an un-wanted person who is worthless in this world.My days passed in disappointment and frustration.I was an extremist person and all the time absurd thoughts entangled my mind badly.It’s very difficult for me to get rid of them.Depression of whole day never prove a good symptom for any one.
As a whole,I reached at my wrist end and totally cut-off my-self from this selfish and cruel world.I became a book worm.Every day a new book became a friend of mine.All my day passed in study and whenever I would have some time I read historical,religious books but that depression never leaves me alone.
Short conversations with fellows and observations towards the world proved me that garden of innocents now rusted with selfishness.The human being of this so called ”modern era” needs to ”Being Human”.Humanity is vanished from this garden.Now people get pleased to see you ruined under their feet.I thought what to do with me?Am I bad or this world?Why was I born?The biggest regret i have ever in my life was that why was i born as a girl?Why i’m not a boy? Why I’m not a part of a happy family?Why I lost my dad ? Why circumstances came to at my wrist end?Why nobody loves me?…As a whole you can say me a psycho who had many imaginary regrets and then weeping on them was her favorite hobby.My self became a question mark for me.
A lot of smiles came to my face when I think about all these passed things.How insane was me.In last two years,a sudden turn came to my life.A lot of changes came into my self in which the best change was in my thoughts.My negativeness converts into positiveness and I would become strong.I start to face the world .I realize a concern that if you want to be strong ,learn to fight alone.I realize that it does not matter what others think about you.It’s your life not others.So, I should do what I want to do not what others want to see.
As a consequence my all absurd thoughts vanish and world become a love-able place for me.What happened if nobody wants or loves me.I put my self in love with all the creatures of my merciful Lord.A permanent smile sticks on the face of that girl who have nothing to do but weeping.I thought,”I’m alone”. but i realize that i’m not.
A voice came from the core of my heart,there is one who never ever leaves me alone,who blessed me with countless capabilities and loves me infinite.He can do what he want to do.He says me to tell my all problems to Him and He’ll prepare a new pathway for me and never ever lost me in this blind world.Then,Why I’m un-thankful and frustrated?
I simply wipe out my tears and say to Him that how much I love Him.How much I’m thankful to be a love for Him.O my Almighty merciful Allah.Yeah! I love you from the core of my heart.I’m thankful to you for all those things,capabilities and blessings which you shower on me without my question.Thanks for creating me a complete human being.I know that you always love me and never ever leave me alone.You are enough for me.